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The price of being a man.


In my last article that I published here, a male friend commented privately that the piece left him feeling left out for it was more about empowering women hence living them out. So I was left wondering whether men do need empowerment. Later that afternoon, I met a friend  whom I asked randomly “John, do you think you as a man, you would need empowerment?” he laughed and said “I am a hard guy, men do not need such, it’s for you ladies.”, while flexing his bicep muscle to show me how strong he is.

That right there is all the reasons why men need empowerment, for empowerment is not about physical strength or anything. Empowerment is meant to make someone stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights and things they believe in.
The bible says God created man first, and all the other different scholars in the world of Science put man first as the significant being, the superiority of being a male being does bring a great platform that gives them first hand chances to opportunities like sports, jobs, education among other centralizations.

However, all these privileges come along with bigger responsibilities. Any man as modern society dictates must be able to contribute to the emotional, spiritual, physical and mental well-being of his family. In order to do this, he must recognize that there are other currencies, in addition to money, that need to be provided.

Back in the early African society circumcision was carried out among young boys as a must for cultural reasons, particularly as an initiation ritual and a rite of passage into manhood as they have to endure pain at a tender age, and not to shed a tear or express pain.

In the 21st century, society dictates that by the age of 18, boys are supposed to have left their parents’ house, whether with or without a job, then immediately find a lady and take care of her; even when they haven’t yet figured out life. If they shed a tear; they are weak, “big boys don’t cry” as everyone says, if they talk about or express their feelings when they like someone; they are referred to as “pussies”. Beards, body size and shape, sexual masculinity, this pressure comes from even from fellow men; all these comparisons have left an average percentage of men every year feeling oppressed and worse still they cannot talk about it for the fear of being misjudged and misinterpreted that’s to come from society thus lowering their esteems.

To the young man that exists in this era, dear brother take your time, and grow first in all angles and let no one rush you, embrace reality that if life’s tough enough for a girl child, and so it is for a  boy child too. The slay queens that keep pressuring you for the lavish life at the age of 22 can wait, the beautiful ones  are not yet born. And not forgetting, marriage can wait, you don’t have to prove your manhood by taking care of another person. With this we will encourage  a girl child to work hard for themselves than waiting to receive.
May you make your life worth living and define it with a charming uniqueness, that will  inspire others to do the same. Let no one rush you into decisions or pressure you into the life society wants rather than the one you want. May you be the man you'd want your daughter to spend the rest of her life with.
God bless you.

Comments

Unknown said…
Joan this is a good article.
Unknown said…
This is really a great article
Joe said…
Men and boys are also told and taught to “man up”, “be a man”, nothing should faze you yet they are dying in the inside.
Anonymous said…
I think given our past, men have really been empowered, back in the day a man cooking for himself would be an abomination and would be laughed at but right now you visit your boyfriend and he cooks while you look at him with admiration,the examples are endless,till this day someone will call you a single mother as a form of abuse, a woman looking after her family on her own day and night without the help of a man and society will still overlook your hardwork and brand you "single mum" as away to ridicule you and call you a failure..The gap for women empowerment is still large and we need the men on our side to fill it. Mululimi oluganda tulina okweyamba yamba..
i could not have said it in any way better.
thank you Akro